I’ll be making a Splash at the Juicy Pool Party!

Too much drama has found me this week over fake designer bags and other scandalous issues. The week’s not even over and I’m already in dire need of a long getaway to a deserted island somewhere in the South Pacific. In the end, no one becomes a socialite to live the soap opera life, but to have the luxury of watching one everyday at 3 p.m. directly after an afternoon nap. Any aspiring socialite must also be a dreamer. As a writer and creator of great things, I am obviously no exception. During the summer months, I spend my weekend afternoons on the Central Park green just a few steps away from Strawberry Fields and the penthouses of Central Park West.

Every weekend afternoon, the green is filled with bikini clad dreamers, myself included, simulating a beach weekend far away from the skyscrapers of Manhattan. This Saturday, June 26th from 12-4 p.m. I will be attending the “Stuck in the City” pool party at Juicy Couture on 5th and 52nd. Though I fully intend on getting my free tote with a purchase of $175 or more, I do not believe I am actually supposed to wear a bathing suit to this event. Although with the awesome outrageousness of the Juicy brand, you never know. Anyway, I’m so excited for another weekend of summer dreams in NYC. For you lucky few spending the weekend in East Hampton, there is also a pool party for you a lot closer to the beach. Hope to see you there along with the summer treats and Juicy Boys.

Oh Sookie! Get me on TV!

Vampire or not, Mondays will suck the life out of you. This week Snoop Dogg has become a true inspiration to aspiring socialites and aspiring actors everywhere. When this die-hard rapper, gangsta, and True Blood fanatic asked HBO if he could guest star on their hit vampire series, he was turned down. Instead of getting mad, Snoop got creative and made a hilarious rap video dedicated to the telepathic main character, Sookie Stackhouse played by Anna Paquin. With all of the effort Snoop has put into this video, my favorite being the backup dancers dressed as Sookie outside Merlotte’s, they should at least make him an extra.

For those aspiring to greatness, the surfacing of this video has numerous implications. I personally would love to be on Gossip Girl, Greek, or in the next Twilight Saga film: Breaking Dawn. Though I am also a die-hard True Blood fan, I am not sure if I can do a southern accent. The beauty of social media is that anyone now has the ability to become famous by simply uploading a video or starting a Twitter account. You don’t have to be on The Hills to be a reality star. You can even gain movie star status without ever stepping onto a movie set. So stop eating humble pie and go on a diet because shameless self-promotion is the fastest way to success. When it comes down to it, you are your best and most of the time your only advocate.

You Know You Made it When

Trading in the game of cat and mouse for a life of leisurely musings is what being an Aspiring Socialite in the heartlessly beautiful city of New York is all about. Since you can always aspire to something greater no matter who you are or what you have achieved, it is hard to gage when you have actually hit socialite status. Here are some signs to look for that say you have arrived. When you get there, just don’t act Nouveau riche. Best of luck in achieving the carefree life of a socialite continue to look for these telltale signs:

  • When you start voting Republican for the tax deductions
  • When you can finally afford to all the luxury good you could possibly want, but always end up getting them for free because of who you are
  • When you have numerous Reality TV offers for your team of lawyers to look over
  • When the people working at Gucci know your life story
  • When you spend insane amounts of money on massages and acupuncture for your dog
  • When spa weekends are every weekend
  • When you used to collect magazine covers featuring yours truly, but stopped because it got boring
  • When over a million people are following you on Twitter
  • When you feng shui your penthouse
  • When you take shots with Lady Gaga while singing along to one of her hits
  • When you no longer bother with heath insurance
  • Whatever I just like making lists

Designer Dogs

As a vegetarian, anti-fur advocate, and overall friend to the animals there is one question that has been boggling my incredibly intuitive mind over the past few days: Should dogs get designer clothes? First, lets take a step back to what pets actually mean to socialites and celebrities. I have always said that it’s lonely at the top; therefore, a socialite should learn to enjoy her own company. However, it is always a good idea to have a cuddly companion that loves you unconditionally for who you are and not what you are. Kind of like Paris Hilton’s pocket pooch adorably named Tinkerbell.

Puppies are cute and so are designer fashions, but do they go together? From my experience, dogs as awesome and sophisticated as animals are, do not seem to appreciate couture the way people do. It kind of cramps their style. They also each have a natural coat of fur that is one of a kind and tends to go along with their unique personalities. This being said, I think I have come to an educated conclusion easing the inner turmoil I have been feeling over this issue. Puppies are cute and fabulous the way they are and don’t need designer fashions. Perhaps, a designer collar or leash will do the trick and give you your posh puppy fix. So use your dog’s fashion budget to buy yourself a little something extra. It’s what man’s best friend would have wanted.

15 Ways to Live Like a Movie Star

It is getting to be that time of year when I come up with a mid-year resolution. I always aspire to keep my life exciting and excessive. Therefore, I think I should live more like a movie star without actually having to be in movies. Next time you see me I could be on the red carpet being asked what ever great Oscar nominee dreams of being asked: “Who are you wearing?”  The Hollywood life is calling and I’m flying first class.

Here are 15 easy ways you too can live like a movie star:

15. Purchase a pair of oversized designer sunglasses and wear them around with a hood wherever you go. This will make you more mysterious and helps you get served faster at restaurants. Just steer clear of banks because they might think you are robbing them.

14. Talk about yourself in the 3rd person like Jimmy D on The Millionaire Matchmaker

13. Sing instead of talking to express your feelings. Hey, it’s working very well for the cast of Glee.

12. Get married in Vegas and hope to be on Perez the next day.

11. Demand the star treatment. When I go out to eat I rarely order anything that is actually on the menu.

10. Get a cute small dog to carry around with you always. It’s lonely at the top and you need a companion who loves you unconditionally.

9. Go back and forth between New York and L.A. A true movie star is bicoastal.

8. Rediscover your spiritual side by joining an out of the box religious organization such as the Church of Scientology or get a personal shaman.

9. The camera adds 10 pounds. Hire an elite personal trainer for your movie star bod.

8. Find a secret hiding place to hide from the paparazzi.

7. Create your own charity for cause near and dear to your heart.

6. Start your own clothing, makeup, shoe, and/or perfume line.

5. Write a tell-all memoir and get it on Opera before she quits.

4. Before your next movie hits theaters, go on vacation somewhere tropical and stay for so long that people think you are dead. People will think it’s a miracle that you showed up at the premiere and you will have gotten a really great tan.

3. Be paid to endorse some really bad product.

2. When you get arrested for some petty crime, look hot in your mug shot. Practice makes perfect.

1. Remember that you are first and foremost an artist and artists have every right to be drama queens. So always be a little bit dramatic with everything you do.